The cynic in me wanted to believe that singleness meant that I was lonely, a failure, and unworthy of love. Especially after so many guys had come and gone throughout the years. I would ask myself things like,
Why am I single?
Why are were my friends able to find love, and I was not?
Is there a sign on my forehead that says, "Dateable, but only to the uncommitted?"
Read MoreHonestly, I haven’t been immune to the feelings of shame that come when you look at your goals and see how much you didn’t accomplish, the unchecked boxes on your to-do list nagging you for the inability to keep up. I’ve carried much of this shame through December, and especially through last week, when I had so much I wanted to get done that did not, at all, get done.
Read MoreWe owe everyone who has contributed their stories at least a year’s worth of lattes as a token of our gratitude, but alas, this simple “thank you” will have to carry the weight of our appreciation instead. Thank you, thank you to everyone who has written for, read, and supported That First Year this past year. We exist because of and for YOU and we can't wait for what 2018 will bring to this community.
Here are the top 10 most-read posts of 2017. Enjoy these stories from some incredible writers.
Read MoreToday is our 3rd blog birthday! To celebrate, we have some sentimental words + a sale & free print as our gift to you!
Read MoreWe are right in the peak of the holiday season, where dreams of home-cooked meals and sitting around a fire with loved ones play through our minds and the songs on the radio. Living close to home, where I can see my parents every weekend, take my grandma out for dinner whenever she’s willing, I would have thought this kind of holiday-induced homesickness would pass me by.
Instead I find myself counting down the days until December 25th, eager to reunite with the people who make me, me.
Read MoreAh, dating in your twenties. Does anyone really know how to properly do this? In an attempt to entertain myself, I got on Tinder for exactly the third time in my life. The first two times would require their own posts, to be honest. This time, I was simply there to swipe left and reassure myself that I’m single because there are essentially no men to date in a 100-mile radius of where I live. Until, that is, a handsome stranger super liked me. How could I ignore that?
Read MoreDespite the magic of the moment, I pretty much hate winter. My feet are perpetually cold from December to March, and the sun hibernates for weeks at a time. I’m the Scrooge of winter; everything is grey and my mood is quick to reflect that. I thrive in the temperate seasons of spring and fall, and I can even get behind the long days of summer, even when the sweaty Southern humidity makes me irrationally grumpy.
Read MoreDisclaimer: I’ve never been one to appreciate people. My self-defensive armor growing up was sarcasm and a black-and-white, right-or-wrong view of the world. I followed the rules and made the grades and went to church because I was supposed to, but pride and the need to be right was my motivation behind this rigid rule-following. And while college was a gradual melting of this judgmental view of people and life, it wasn’t until after college that the real work began. Time to scorch the earth to make way for new things, better things.
Read MoreThere is an argument to be made about needing a rock in a new world. This isn't always found in a significant other. I think we should all consider ourselves the lucky ones if we are able to identify at least one individual that helps us balance our world. A friend, a mom, a dad, a mentor, or anyone willing to help bear the burdens of life. We need that person who reminds us of the wonderful moments tied up amidst our tangled lives.
Read MoreEntering into adulthood, we face another shift. We begin again to crave their attention and their approval. As we begin our own lives, careers and marriages we seek recognition, admiration and ultimately to make them proud. Or depending on your relationship with your parents, this is your chance to prove them wrong. You either realize how grateful you are for the life they gave you or you realize the ways in which they failed you or even a combination of the two. During this phase also occurs much self-actualization often leading us to noticing aspects of our parents present within us.
Read MoreBut what happens when you take that leap with your person, your partner, your boo thang. Yes, you two have made THE big decision: to go from having a regular roommate to having a capital-R Roommate. This is a huge step for you and your SO. Living together is basically a precursor to marriage (or so I’ve been told). This is the time when you really find out if you’re capable of living with this person for a long, long time and lots of subtle difference can come out of the woodwork.
Read MoreI believe that our actions, our thoughts, our successes and failures are byproducts of the choices we make. I read books about psychology and the mind meant to inspire positive action, watch TED talks on productivity and healing destructive thought patterns. I believe in taking responsibility for mistakes I’ve made and pain I’ve caused. I’ve seen that choosing my daily rituals and taking action toward my dreams is the only way to bring myself closer to the person I want to become.
Read MoreI began to lose touch with so many of my friends. I’m sure you’ve heard something similar to the “you find out who your real friends are when you move away” banality before. Sure, sure. Of course it’s true. Relationships take multiple levels more effort when you can’t just show up at a friend’s house with a bottle of wine and an itemized list of issues for which they already have context.
Read More“I want you guys to go, I’m just going to take a breather and hang out on my own for a bit,” I say. It’s the truth—when I feel myself getting into one of these moods all I want to do is be alone, not tear anyone down with me. But even in knowing that, I can’t pretend this isn’t a version of myself I don’t get along with. I spiral myself further down the rabbit hole, feeling awful for letting my friends down, berating myself for not being fun for them.
Read MoreI need to cry. It’s not the kind of cry that comes out in laboured sobs and makes people around you feel genuinely uncomfortable as they watch the world end on your face. It’s the kind that comes when you reach the end of your grief: acceptance.
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