The First Fall of Adulthood
I’ve been trying to figure out what I want this post to be about for the past month. I went back and forth and nothing felt right, until this past weekend.
Over the weekend I went to an Oktoberfest event in the town next to my college town where some of my college friends live, and obviously, I took a pit stop at the beautiful UNH campus on my way home.
One of my good friends is a senior now and I haven’t seen her since before she studied abroad (which I’m still not okay with) so we did breakfast. We went to a little diner that every UNH student is obsessed with and chatted about Europe among other things then we went back so I could see her apartment. It’s a brand new complex (and I suffered through the noise of the construction at 7 a.m. all last year) so I wanted to see it!
It was adorable, decorated in typical college girl fashion, but that wasn’t the only ‘college’ thing about her apartment. Although we were up early for people who went out the night before, that wasn’t the case for her roommates and when we got there was when everyone was waking up.
It felt eerie because of how familiar the scene was: trying to figure out who was asleep on the couch because they were sleeping face down, everyone coming out of their bedrooms looking for water and answers, eating cold pizza that was left out all night and washing it down with an open Bud Light that was completely flat.
People say that you actually feel like you graduated when you don’t go back to school for the first time in your life in the fall. While I did feel a little off at the beginning of the month, it was being on campus last weekend that I really felt it.
I teared up on my drive home. How could this part of my life be over? Don’t get me wrong, I hate being hungover and am glad I wasn’t in as rough of shape as my friends, but they don’t know how good they have it. The only priority they have on weekends is to eat something and shower before it’s time to go drink all over again. I had to go home to do my laundry and grocery shop (I miss the dining hall) and get my life together.
I started thinking about how sad I was that it was over. I felt old and washed up. Why do I have adult responsibilities? Why can’t I do college again?
I then started thinking about everything I want to accomplish in my life. I have so many dreams and I’m working as hard as humanly possible to make them a reality.
I’ve said it a hundred times before and I’ll say it a thousand more: this part of our life is the most awkward, confusing and crappy stretch of our lives. But it’s also the most exciting and fun time of our life because of all the possibilities.
It’s hard, but it’s supposed to be. Nothing worth having ever came easy and I am a firm believer of that. While I’m heartbroken that I can’t spend my days looking like a trainwreck anymore while I bum around and piece together the previous night, I’m so incredibly excited for what’s to come. Plus, I don’t think my friends would mind if I visited and drank cheap vodka with them every once in a while.