Posts in Life
FROM THE ARCHIVES: When It's the New Year and Everything Is Different

I couldn’t bind up other people’s problems and make everything okay. I just couldn’t. I learned that I am not superman; I can’t save people. I learned that sometimes people choose to be unhealthy, that they choose to be in dangerous situations, but that I don’t have to support bad choices. I learned that I can walk away. Sometimes walking away means that you lose a friend, but it often means that you gain some clarity and peace. I learned that I can’t please everyone because in the words of Brené Brown I’m not “the jackass whisperer.”

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You Knelt Beside My Hope Torn Apart

“It’s called real life, and it’s cracked and fragile.”

Real life seems to be awfully cracked and fragile lately.

I have friends who are hurting—friends mourning the unexpected death of family, friends grieving the loss of friendships, friends fearing potential layoffs, friends aching from loneliness or a feeling of not measuring up to their peers. So many people in my life seem to be carrying with them their own fanny pack of hurts these days.

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When You Feel Everything

We’ve all made it through the not so good days, no matter the cost. Some of us cope with hard times better than others. Although we’d all like to say we can “just get over it” in a snap, sometimes that isn’t possible. That’s when we put on a brave face and take on the world as if nothing happened in the first place.

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LifeAbby ProwantComment
Why You Should Just Sign Up

"Self-care" is the buzzword but many of us, myself included, do not do it enough. There is a certain pride we take in hustling and working crazy hours to get where we want to go. But at the end of the day, we are not superheroes. We need sleep. We need downtime. We need to do something for ourselves here and there, otherwise, take it from me, you will burn out.

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Top 10 Most-Read Posts of 2017

We owe everyone who has contributed their stories at least a year’s worth of lattes as a token of our gratitude, but alas, this simple “thank you” will have to carry the weight of our appreciation instead. Thank you, thank you to everyone who has written for, read, and supported That First Year this past year. We exist because of and for YOU and we can't wait for what 2018 will bring to this community. 

Here are the top 10 most-read posts of 2017. Enjoy these stories from some incredible writers.

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The Winter Wallows: Learning to Appreciate the Dark Seasons

Despite the magic of the moment, I pretty much hate winter. My feet are perpetually cold from December to March, and the sun hibernates for weeks at a time. I’m the Scrooge of winter; everything is grey and my mood is quick to reflect that. I thrive in the temperate seasons of spring and fall, and I can even get behind the long days of summer, even when the sweaty Southern humidity makes me irrationally grumpy.

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A Beginner's Guide to Self-Discipline

Once I realized that Discipline is not a bad hang, I started inviting him in to spruce up other areas of my life. Meal prepping, writing when I don’t feel like it, practicing guitar, journaling, keeping my living spaces pretty—all these things require the wisdom and care of Discipline. I have found that my creativity, free-spirit nature, and whimsical planning are only as good as the boundaries of self-discipline they are held within.

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The Inconvenience of Love

Disclaimer: I’ve never been one to appreciate people. My self-defensive armor growing up was sarcasm and a black-and-white, right-or-wrong view of the world. I followed the rules and made the grades and went to church because I was supposed to, but pride and the need to be right was my motivation behind this rigid rule-following. And while college was a gradual melting of this judgmental view of people and life, it wasn’t until after college that the real work began. Time to scorch the earth to make way for new things, better things.

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Digging Up Gratitude

At the beginning of the fall, when I was still in the adjusting-to-a-new-job-turned-teenage-angst phase, I would make lists of things I was grateful for to try and counteract my unease. I am a deep feeler if there ever was one, and it is hard for me to recognize something as truth if I don’t feel it is true. This makes gratitude lists in the midst of change and transition and fear of failing incredibly challenging, because I don’t feel like being grateful, thank you very much.

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How Long: The Timeline of Healing

Healing isn’t tangible and doesn’t stick to arbitrary timelines; it’s beyond our control, and because of this, it can feel so elusive, so impossible. As a generation that’s been raised on instant gratification, we can’t microwave healing into existence, and as someone who is decidedly not good at waiting, this truth is exceedingly difficult to accept.

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1 in 68: Living in the "Real World" With Autism

It happens pretty much every time. I freak out, start to doubt what I can do and believe that I don’t deserve any sort of success. I tend to run through these thoughts over and over in my head, and everything speeds up faster and faster, as if my brain is a steam engine nearing the last stop on a railroad track. When someone asks me, “What’s wrong?” or “How can I help you?” I don’t even know what to say. When I try to open my mouth to say what I need, I can’t even get the words right. At times, I feel like an imposter, not ready to face the real world like the cool, confident women I aspire to be like.

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Dreams, LifeAbby ProwantComment