So This is It
Waddup, fools? Coming at you live from that limbo period after exams and before commencement. Will there ever be a week as freeing as this one?! Doubt it! Huzzah!
Lots of time spent with friends. Lots of hangovers. Lots of breakfast bagels that I thought would cure said hangovers but made everything worse. Lots of not a lot going on.
Shortly after cleaning up my painting space in the art building the other day, I [tearfully] journeyed over to the campus alumni house to pick up my cap and gown. I was also gifted a bumper sticker and pen and was informed that I, as an alumnus, am now blessed with 20 percent off at the university bookstore. A lifetime of discounted Belmont swag? Decades of crippling student loan debt finally feels worth it, Mom.
A friend and I then took one final lap around campus. We decided to sneak into our former res halls from our days as underclassmen. Stepping inside each building sent a flood of very specific feelings and memories over me—something only an aggressively sterile dorm can evoke I guess. Suddenly I was 18 again.
The closer I get to my educational finish line, the more laughable it is looking back at my freshman year self: how I pictured these four years to play out, what my career goals were, the expectations I held for everything and everyone, the expectations I held for myself.
I don’t pretend to know anything about life really. In fact, I probably know less now than ever before. I always thought by the time I was a college senior I would magically discover this clear sense of direction and wisdom. In reality though, I think most of us feel just the opposite. But I think this is a good spot to be in.
We still spend money we don’t have on regrettable amounts of Mexican food and watch the occasional Spongebob marathon (“we” definitely meaning “I” but HUGE shout out to those who relate). But we’ve also been stripped of the naivety we came to college with. Hopefully at this point we know how to be realistic with ourselves and with the world. I think our youth combined with this spark of self- and world-awareness puts us in a really cool, possibilities-are-fairly-endless type spot.
While life may feel like one giant question mark right now, it’s so important to remember how lucky we are to have this blank slate. Do you know how many people would kill to be back in this position? I know a lot of us feel overwhelmed, and panicking over “where to go from here” is common, but what’s the worst that could really happen? (Don’t answer this.)