Posts in Relationships
Caught Between Independence and Needing Mom
Caught Between Independence and Needing Mom

When I was 15, I decided to do an exchange year abroad. I didn't even bother asking my mother about her opinion. I wanted it, so I applied for it. One year later I was sitting on an airplane on my way to Virginia, 5,000 miles away from home. Facebook had just started and WhatsApp was not around yet (Icq was still the THING). I was unbelievably excited. Ten months in a different country, a new life, a new family, new friends. Weekly calls from home? Annoying. I just wanted to have a great year and become a part of my new surroundings. So I told my mom I did not want her to call me all the time.

Bad idea. Very bad idea. We ended up having a major fight. She felt betrayed, excluded, unloved. I could write an article on how to break a mother’s heart. I should add: My mom and I had been living together for almost 10 years and I don't have any siblings, so I consider her my best friend. Suddenly I had turned her into a single woman who had also just turned 40. As I said, very bad idea.

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Life, RelationshipsViviane SchmidtComment
Just Trust It
Just Trust It

Coming home from a foreign country is a weird thing, man. You’re picked up by an airplane some 6,000 miles away, and by the time you wake up from a Nyquil coma everyone speaks your language and you can once again get a pumpkin spice latte off the Starbucks menu. Walking through customs at the Miami airport was akin to peeing in swimming pools as a child – comfortable, warm, a feeling of joy quite literally spreading around me. There were Christmas carols playing and decorated trees spotting the lobby, and hearing the words to “God Bless America” played over the loud speakers moved me to tears.

Home is a beautiful thing.

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Dreams, Travel, Life, RelationshipsKelsey WorshamFeaturedComment
Everything Changes
Everything Changes

But even those people that stood by me when the whole world was (rightfully) against me aren't as relevant in my daily life anymore.

And you know what? That's okay.

We grow up and we move away and we have different interests. My friends are always going to be my friends, but our interests aren't always going to be the same.

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RelationshipsJackie Mundry Comment
So This is the Desert, Then, Part II
So This is the Desert, Then, Part II

It’s been a year. I think that’s the best way to summarize my first year after college, because the statement “it’s been a year” is wide enough in ambiguity yet concise enough in simplicity to accommodate both the good and bad. So, yeah, it’s been a year.

Confession: This year, I had become selfish. I mean, let’s be real, I’ve always been selfish (‘Me? Selfish? But I’m perfect!’ argues my ego), but this year I was especially so.

It was always about me. But not in an openly obvious way, as though I consciously made the effort to view myself as the center of the universe. It was just the average “me, me, me” attitude that we so often perpetuate, ya know? Just continually thinking about the things common to someone who has recently graduated: What is my dream job? Where do I want to live? How can I find happiness?

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Life, Dreams, RelationshipsAlly WillisFeatured, ArchiveComment
One Year Later: A Reflection
One Year Later: A Reflection

It’s been a year since That First Year was launched. 365 days. And in those 365 days, more than 30 people (33, to be exact!) have contributed 131 posts to this li’l blog; more than 30 people have willingly put figurative pen to figurative paper to write about just how messy and confusing, yet oh-so-beautiful that first year after college can be. We’ve had posts covering the gamut of topics: from life to love to friends to travel to dreams to some of our favorite things.

“These posts are getting too relatable now.”

Someone said this about a post recently and I wanted to give ‘em a big ‘ole hug through the computer because that’s exactly what I was hoping this blog would be: a place where people can relate to the stories this community has shared. 

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Travel, Style, Money, Life, Health, Graduation, Dreams, Career, RelationshipsAlly WillisFeaturedComment
On Homesickness and Other Matters of the Heart
On Homesickness and Other Matters of the Heart

Thanksgiving is so damn American. We annually celebrate our declaration of American-hood (Because what else says America!!! other than the Plymouth Plantation settlers saying, "Here we are, y’all.  Let’s eat some meat and pray"?) with one huge, gluttonous expression of thankfulness. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love America and I love this great American holiday. In years past I’ve often rolled my eyes at my parents shepherding my sister and me around the country to various relatives’ homes. Thanksgiving can mean forced conversation with distant aunts that ask what happened to your seventh grade boyfriend.  

However, being some 5,000 miles away from home can turn the thought of tryptophan comas on La-Z-Boy recliners into something much more idyllic.

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Travel, Life, RelationshipsKelsey WorshamFeaturedComment
Comparison Game: Facing Adulthood with Social Media
Comparison Game: Facing Adulthood with Social Media

Not only can I keep track of my grad school and college friends, but I’m friends with my elementary school crush. (Well, after writing this I unfriended him. It all felt too weird; he’s married now, we haven’t talked since the fourth grade, so I guess it’s time to move on.) Social media is altogether ridiculous, and it’s turned me into a modern-day Narcissus. I think it’s probably turned you into one, too.

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Life, RelationshipsRachel MallisonComment
Long Distance Lives: How to Maintain Relationships When You're Not with the People You Love
Long Distance Lives: How to Maintain Relationships When You're Not with the People You Love

I already moved five times this year and have lived in three different countries. Every time, you start from zero; you meet new people and try to make friends. I have to admit, I feel at home pretty fast. This time it took me a day (thanks to my amazing hosts). However, while building new friendships, you also have to take care of your loved ones at home. That is the hard part.

So here is what I do to maintain relationships with my friends and family back home.

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Travel, Life, RelationshipsViviane SchmidtComment
Isolation Is More Powerful Than Community
Isolation Is More Powerful Than Community

If you would have told me a year ago that for my first job I would get to travel all across the United States for an organization I care so deeply about, I wouldn’t believe you. I desperately wanted to travel for a living, and I’m actually doing it! 

I travel with one suitcase and one carry on and visit a new city about every week. My elevator speech actually includes the line, “My office is my suitcase.” As I write, I’m realizing that my job is the real deal and I absolutely love it.

I also want to acknowledge that it’s a lonely job.

I get to meet absolutely amazing, inspiring women every day, but I only have one week to get to know them, then I’m off to a new city. I am around people all the time, but I am hardly, if ever, around people who know me... people who know my habits, my past and my passions--the friends who know that I am not a morning person and never will be and the mentors who see my strengths and appreciate that I am a competitive person.  

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Career, Life, RelationshipsArielle SchraderFeaturedComment
How to Create Community After College
How to Create Community After College

When I was in college, preparing myself for a career in the music industry, I always assumed that whatever job I got would be my life. I never thought about what I would do with my time outside of work, other than spending it drinking beer with my friends and binge-watching crime shows. I was involved in extracurricular activities like the school newspaper during my time at MTSU, and even though I did enjoy it, the main incentive there was that I knew it would help make my resume sparkle. I didn’t expect that eventually I would crave having a project purely out of enjoyment with no ulterior motive. 

Fast forward to a year into my full-time job. This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy my work as a concert marketer, because I do. But eventually I knew I had to challenge myself to get involved in something outside of my paid gig in an effort to meet new people and continue learning along the way. The problem was that I didn’t really know how to do that as an adult without using school as a resource. 

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Career, RelationshipsMeredith GalyonFeatured, ArchiveComment
What You Should Know About Waiting
What You Should Know About Waiting

Over coffee one weekend, my friend poured out her thoughts in the vein of frustration with her first full-time gig after college. Her angst was stemming from the general discontent of routine and the initial feeling — 3 weeks in —that her job was meaningless and seemingly dead-end.

As I listened, I felt the ping of familiarity with these sentiments — feeling discontent with the present and frustration of waiting for the future.

She asked me, “How long does it take for this to go away?”

I couldn’t give her a concrete answer. What do I tell her? That this will all go away soon? At the end of the month? Year?

And there lies the root of our frustration: there’s no timeline.

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Career, Life, Dreams, RelationshipsJulie BloomFeatured, ArchiveComment
50 First Dates
50 First Dates

At the risk of sounding like a bad Cosmo article, have you ever imagined residing in an exotic locale, lounging in a hammock while a tanned and buff Fabio (or Fabiana, whatever floats your boat) fans you with palm leaves? 

Blame it on growing up with such classics as The Lizzie McGuire Movie, but I presumed that if I ever lived abroad my romantic encounters would closely follow the previously mentioned fantasy.  Upon planning my year in Argentina (when I was not milling through government documents or googling “Why do you people not flush toilet paper in Buenos Aires?”) I was quick to jump to images of Fabio.  Absolutely none of this makes sense considering I am deeply shy and renowned for my lack of flirting prowess.  Just one glance from a suitor and I will break out in an itchy red rash.  I spent a greater part of my junior year wearing turtlenecks and scarves because I frequently saw the boy I liked on campus. 

However, this was before I moved to South America.  For those of you who have not traveled this far south of the equator, let me tell you one thing – prepare yourselves.  The men of Argentina (while I hate to generalize, this has been my experience so far) make Italians look shy.  They will pursue you, they will want to wine and dine you, and it will be bizarre though occasionally wonderful.  I’ve found that the strange experiences can be justified simply for that random, golden “perfect” date.  Here are some tips I’ve garnered from three months of rom com-worthy experiences, meeting less-than Fabio’s in the search for my true Fabio.

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Travel, Life, RelationshipsKelsey WorshamFeaturedComment
We Need People
We Need People

I am of the opinion that life’s smallest moments are often life’s most profound. It’s in these seemingly simple intonations that the best sort of change occurs. 

I recently cried at a wedding.

Lest you be fooled into thinking this is unusual and possibly profound, it is not; I often cry at weddings. Deep expressions of familial love, well-executed personal details and concentrated statements of beauty and commitment overwhelm me, usually to the point of tears. 

In the hopes of being honest and transparent, I did cry for all of those reasons at this wedding; many tears were shed. But the brightest moment among a night saturated with light didn’t have to do with the wedding at all. It revolved around a gin and tonic. 

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Life, RelationshipsLaurel DicusFeatured, ArchiveComment
The Glorious Silence
The Glorious Silence

Two weeks ago I realized that I was an introvert.

I know. As one who LOVES personality tests, I probably should have sorted this out long ago, but I didn’t. I probably had other stuff to do, like sit in my room by myself and read a book on the Supreme Court or sleep through someone’s birthday dinner (that has happened multiple times). I used to be able to fake extroversion but at the ripe old age of 23, I’m tired of the bullshit.

If I want to sit home by myself and read Jane Eyre, then by golly I will! I don’t want to go clubbing, I don’t want to be in the same vicinity as people who are talking loudly over bumping club music, and I don’t want to go to a party with strangers. At all. It literally suffocates me. I don’t think it’s social anxiety so much as the realization that I could be hanging out with my friends drinking wine and watching a movie instead at some bar in DuPont Circle hating every moment of my life. 

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Life, RelationshipsRachel MallisonFeatured Comment
What to Do When You Just Really, Really, Really Want to Give Up
What to Do When You Just Really, Really, Really Want to Give Up

Have you ever experienced getting sick in a foreign country with no family or loved ones nearby?

If you haven’t, let me paint you a mental picture: Me. In a Buenos Aires hospital on a Saturday morning because I had bronchitis.  The process of obtaining healthcare in a foreign country is difficult but in this one you literally take a number from a slot machine and hope that a doctor can see you at some point. 

It was a beautiful spring day outside of the hospital waiting room so the windows had been left open to allow the wind to blow in.  All of a sudden, in the midst of waiting for a doctor, I glanced up to see a mangy, flea-bitten cat simply walk in through one of the open windows and into the emergency room.  Something about seeing a stray animal enter a hospital (what I normally imagine as a hygienic, humans-only kind of zone) was strange.  Something about having had a fever for three days was also strange and with this combination I began to cry. 

In the last week I have cried three times. 

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Life, RelationshipsKelsey WorshamFeatured, ArchiveComment