But after a while, and in my classic twenty-something fashion, I began to feel restless. I wasn't sure exactly what it was I wanted anymore. Because my heart is similar to Augustus Gloop in that it's greedy. It wants to know all of the outcomes. It wants to know which path to take before I have to take a single step. It wants freedom. It wants travel. It wants stability. And more often than not, it wants chocolate.
Read MoreI have social anxiety. It creates a fear in me that is paralyzing, and I let it control me. My whole life is littered with instances where I clammed up, didn’t speak up, didn’t show up, and didn’t step up. There is a constant war in my brain, of what I want to do versus what I will let myself do.
Read MoreWhole seasons of my life, important lessons I’ve learned, have taken years to sink in because I was so busy tidying them up. I had no respect for my own process, no acknowledgement of the journey I was on. This denial wasn’t intentional, but it became instinctual. I’m still learning how to sit in the unrest that life often brings. If you, too, have a hard time settling into the trenches and naming the shifty, uncertain feelings you’re experiencing, some of these thoughts might help.
Read MoreFall is a hopeful season, but in a somber sort of way, because there is a letting go involved—the leaves falling, the light fading, the chill in the air increasingly more unwelcoming. And when I think about hope, I realize that it too is beautiful, but in a somber sort of way, because it too requires letting go.
Read MoreEntering into adulthood, we face another shift. We begin again to crave their attention and their approval. As we begin our own lives, careers and marriages we seek recognition, admiration and ultimately to make them proud. Or depending on your relationship with your parents, this is your chance to prove them wrong. You either realize how grateful you are for the life they gave you or you realize the ways in which they failed you or even a combination of the two. During this phase also occurs much self-actualization often leading us to noticing aspects of our parents present within us.
Read MoreBut what happens when you take that leap with your person, your partner, your boo thang. Yes, you two have made THE big decision: to go from having a regular roommate to having a capital-R Roommate. This is a huge step for you and your SO. Living together is basically a precursor to marriage (or so I’ve been told). This is the time when you really find out if you’re capable of living with this person for a long, long time and lots of subtle difference can come out of the woodwork.
Read MoreI had never really made a “Plan B” for my athletic life and activities. I didn’t look for places to live because of the nearby sports clubs or the number of parks within walking distance, nor was that the consideration I had in mind now. While recreational sports are fun, I myself wasn’t ready to make a real commitment like that, even on an infrequent basis. Not only did I have to consider the time I would need to devote to the workouts, practices, and team-building activities, there was also my own physical health to consider. After years of traveling in cramped seats, repeated tackles, injuries, and strains, my body just wasn’t up to the demands I know I would want to impose, not to mention the fact that my getting injured and possibly needing time away from work to recover would be a real work obstacle for myself and my team, posing a real threat to my career success.
Read MoreI believe that our actions, our thoughts, our successes and failures are byproducts of the choices we make. I read books about psychology and the mind meant to inspire positive action, watch TED talks on productivity and healing destructive thought patterns. I believe in taking responsibility for mistakes I’ve made and pain I’ve caused. I’ve seen that choosing my daily rituals and taking action toward my dreams is the only way to bring myself closer to the person I want to become.
Read MoreWhen I was younger, I used to think that life would get better after college. Or once I was married. Or once I had a big girl job. If only I could skip to this weekend, or next month or a couple years from now, things would be better.
Read MoreAfter recording the moments that caught my attention, I found that my collection created the perfect profile of a post graduate. All of these (highly recommended) shows have illuminated my life while I thought my brain was turned off. Our inner thoughts have been captured in the form of very lucrative entertainment.
Read MoreI’m a naturally anxious person, particularly skilled at the sport of Imagining All Worst Case Scenarios—gold medal level skills, I’d argue.“My mind is my main problem almost all of the time. I wish I could leave it in the fridge when I go out, but it likes to come with me,” the writing goddess Ann Lamott wrote. I only just recently figured out that this worry pulsating through my body since I was but a sweet child (disclaimer: this is a lie, I was not a sweet child) is what one might call Anxiety. This means I’ve had my share of panic attacks over the years—those breathless moments of feeling claustrophobic inside your own body—though I had no idea that those were actually called panic attacks until maybe a couple years ago.
Read MoreWindrose Magazine is now available in digital + limited number of print copies! Snag a copy while you can.
Read MoreRefusing to quit has undoubtedly served me well in my 24-years. It is the reason I can sing now even though I was described as a tone-deaf child. It is responsible for the 60 pounds I have lost and kept off in the last three years. It has been the backbone of healing and strength and the two Whole 30s I have completed, but it has also been harmful. I become faithful to a fault, unable to walk away from things, like a sport I am not good at, because I have something to prove. Because I think it makes me weak to leave something instead of toughing it out.
Read MoreAnd while the magic was in full force, I could not shake a thought that apprehended just about everything else for me that day. I was haunted by a simple and unfair question: Why do we embrace change in nature, yet find ourselves reluctant to accept change in each other?
Read MoreWith my time at home, I’ve been able to prepare for starting my job and moving cities. This has helped me ease the angst I have about beginning a new job and also allows me to ensure a smooth transition (going from having no responsibility to having a ton of responsibility won’t be easy!). Here are a few things I’ve considered and researched to prepare for the start of my career.
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