The Breaking Point
I'm literally at my breaking point.
I've received rejection letter on rejection letter and every single one has said, "You have so much potential but we're looking for someone with more experience."
SO HIRE ME AND GIVE ME EXPERIENCE.
I'm working in my field and gaining experience, but it's not the experience that I need for the career I want to have. Not to say that I don’t enjoy what I’m doing at my current part-time reporting job, because I do. But being part-time is something that I can’t financially handle for much longer.
I love what I do and want to continue writing and reporting for years to come. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the opportunity that I have been given, because I am eternally grateful for my first journalism job and I’m happy that I was able to learn how much I love it so soon after college.
That doesn’t change how bad I want this. I want to write and talk about sports for a living, and I know that I would excel at being a sports journalist because I’m passionate about it.
I just need someone to agree and take a chance on a young reporter. It’s such a competitive and cut-throat industry, but I really don’t think I can give up.
I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember and that desire grew last year at UNH when SportsCenter’s Linda Cohn came to speak. She talked about how difficult it was for her 22 years ago to be a woman trying to get into the industry. They always wanted her to do news because she was a woman, but she wanted sports. Of course she took the news jobs so she could get into the industry, as I’m doing the now and feeling the same frustration she felt.
But she said one thing that made me want this even more when talking about her career at ESPN. She referred to herself and her colleagues as being “cut from the same cloth” because they could go in and talk about what they love with one another every single day.
She said it was a lot of fun to work with people who have that much in common with you. She compared it to being in college without the alcohol, and nothing she said about her career made it sound like work. But here I am, coming into work on Monday morning with people who didn’t even know that the Patriots won on Sunday Night Football.
I desperately want this. I actually need this. I feel like I’ve been working for this my whole life and as badly as I want to just curl up in my bed and cry, I can’t.
I’ll continue to apply for as many sports writing and reporting jobs as I can find and I won’t stop until someone takes a chance on me. I am determined to get this. I have worked too hard to get where I am and want this more than anything.
I think I’m having such a hard time because I have such a fear of being stuck: stuck working four part-time jobs, stuck living in my hometown. I need more than this. I’m bored and anxious and am ready to move forward with my career and my life. I need something new.
People used to say that they envied me because I had a clear vision of what I wanted. I’ve even had professors tell me that they’ve never had a student with such a clear vision. But the problem with having a vision is the fact that I can’t let go of it. I can’t stop working until I succeed; while some people admire drive and motivation, when you’re the one that refuses to give up, it can suck.
There needs to be more entry-level positions for college grads because if I hear, “You have so much potential but we’re going with a candidate with more experience” one more time, there is a 100% chance that I will explode.
I know I’m not alone and I wish this post ended with some sound advice, but all I can say is to go to your loved ones for support. They love you no matter what and want the best for you and want you to succeed.
[Photo by Juliette Kibodeaux.]
