The Year of No

Shonda Rhimes wrote a book called The Year of Yes and while she is my spirit animal, and I agree with the motivation behind the book, I want 2016 to be my year of no.

Why, you ask? Because I've always said yes. To everything that I don't want to say yes to, I've said yes. I have done so much damage to myself from saying yes to appease everyone in my life that it actually feels good to say no.

In early December I had a series of interviews for a job I didn't actually want; I just wanted a full time job. When it got to the point where they wanted me to talk to the HR department, I said no. The job wasn't a good fit for me, and I didn't want to put myself in a position where I'd have to move and not know anyone and be miserable at a job that wasn't right for me. I am not opposed to moving to the other side of the country - heck I'm not opposed to moving out of the country - but for a job that wasn't going to be a good fit for me? It wouldn't be worth it.

Saying no felt great.

So when I was unhappy with my four-and-a-half-year relationship, I said no.

I said I was done, it was over. It was too hard on my sanity, and I didn't need the extra stress. So I said no.

Then I realized, why not make 2016 the year of no?

This year I'm going to say no to anything that isn't going to make me better. If I want to talk to a guy, I will; if not I'll say no.

If I want a job, I'll say yes; if I don't think it's a good fit, I'll say no.

If a friend wants to do something, but I'm tired, overworked or just don't want to, I'll say no.

It sounds so simple but it's something that isn't as easy for everyone. I like making people happy and I hate hurting people. I'll do things that I don't want to just because I want to keep the other person happy, but that's not always fair to me.

So here's to making 2016 the year of no, to not accepting anything less than what I deserve. We'll see how this goes.

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