Finding Peace Amidst Changes

Initially, I was going to write about what it's like to be completely at peace with where you are for the first time. But then I realized I'm not 100% there.

Some days are harder than others in this post-grad world. Some days I think to myself, “I can and I will do this,” and other days I think about taking some time off from reality and traveling, maybe becoming a flight attendant for a while so I can see new places and still make money doing so.

Then I remember the more time I take off from doing what I want to be doing, the less likely I'm going to land the dream job.

So no, I’m not at peace with where I am.

I'm living at home, I'm beyond broke, I am single for the first time in six years, I don't like working five different jobs that I don't feel challenged at, and I just don't know what to do about it. I apply for jobs constantly, follow up and still get rejection emails and phone calls.

“Go to college to get a job after,” our elders tell us. But what they really mean is you'll get a job, but not one that you love.

I strive for more than I have. I strive to work in broadcast journalism and cover things as they're breaking. I strive for more than the community news I'm covering part time.

Striving for something is different than achieving it, and I've learned that. I always thought I'd graduate from college and have my pick of jobs in TV, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.

It's easy to get caught up in what other people are doing. Social media shows us our peers’ cool jobs doing what they love and living in new and exciting cities. But isn't that the point of social media? To make your life look better than it actually is?

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure some people love their jobs and lives. But realistically, we're likely all broke and living paycheck to paycheck. Just because some of my peers are working full time in their field doesn't mean they're not also doing some bitch work every time they step into their office. 

So no, I am not completely at peace with where I am in my life and to be honest, I don't know when I will be. I don't know when I'll be able to afford to move out of my parents’ house, or when I'll land my dream job, or when I'll find the love of my life (besides pizza and wine). Not only do I not know when these things will happen, I don't know if they will. Who knows, maybe I'll end up doing something unrelated to the field that I've dreamed of working in altogether.

Although I'm the furthest from okay with where I am in life, I am the happiest I've ever been. Whoever said college is the best four years of your life was wrong. I'm in a good place now. I am motivated to do more, but while I work to achieve more, not paying rent is great.

Some days I am at peace, and some days I'm the furthest thing from being at peace. Maybe, in the end, this isn't about being at peace with where I am currently, but being at peace with the fact that this time in our lives is ever-changing.