A Beginner's Guide to Self-Discipline

My relationship with Discipline has always been a turbulent one. Discipline is the lame party guest who stands in the corner, pointing at his watch and reminding me that I said I would be in bed two hours ago. He is the guy that shows up rather uninvited just to tell me that if I don’t turn the music down, he is going to call the cops. He is the Debbie Downer if there ever was one. I would rather continue dancing on tables, living life on a whim, than go over and engage him. I have stood with my arms crossed and back turned away from him, insisting that I am much too free-spirited to obey any of his commands.

Over the last couple of years, though, I have started to befriend my lame party guest. I started running and realized that you don’t become strong and fit and capable of completing half-marathons without Discipline running right alongside you. Once I realized that Discipline is not a bad hang, I started inviting him in to spruce up other areas of my life. Meal prepping, writing when I don’t feel like it, practicing guitar, journaling, keeping my living spaces pretty—all these things require the wisdom and care of Discipline. I have found that my creativity, free-spirit nature, and whimsical planning are only as good as the boundaries of self-discipline they are held within. Discipline is the foundation I must build my life and work on or I will always be dreaming but never doing.

If you are still in the process of befriending Discipline, I have compiled a list of thoughts and strategies I have developed over the last couple of years that may help you speak his language a little better.

1. Self-Discipline is Self-Care.

My often-chaotic thoughts feel so much clearer and more organized if I have organized spaces. If my room and bathroom are clean, I feel a deeper sense of stability than if they are not. I am, however, not gifted in this area. There are often clothes covering the floor in my room and bathroom because it is hard for me to find the motivation to do boring day-to-day things.

There is all kinds of advice saying that following the path of what we feel like doing is the highest form of self-care. You may think that you are caring for yourself well by obliging to your every whim. We live in a culture that prescribes a gallon of ice cream and Netflix binge for heartache and tells us that we deserve indulgence. This is a dangerous mindset to subscribe to all the time. From exercising to eating well to cleaning to work ethic, disciplining yourself to do the things that are good for you, even when you don’t want to do them, is the highest form of self-love. It’s like taking medicine. Even if it tastes a little gross going down, you are still caring for yourself by taking it.

2. Discipline begets discipline.

If you are having a hard time finding any sort of discipline in your life, start small. Go for a walk in the morning, write in a journal for 15 minutes, challenge yourself to eat a fruit or vegetable with every meal for a week. Discipline has a tendency to create a domino effect in your life, and once you introduce it in one area it starts spreading out to all the rest. If I start my morning by journaling, going for a run and making a good, healthy breakfast, I am much more likely to be productive with the rest of my day than I am if I were to turn on the TV and eat a donut the moment I woke up. Start cultivating small habits in your life that will snowball into a steady discipline mindset.

3. Find a rulebook (if you need one).

If hard and fast rules are helpful for you like they are helpful for me, there are some really great tools out there for you to utilize. If you are looking to be more disciplined in your eating habits, Whole 30 is a great guide to try out for a month. I started running by using the Couch to 5K app that lays out a very specific plan with very specific goals. Do some research and find a good program for you or create your own rulebook. Turn your ambiguous goals into specific guidelines that will make the follow through easier. I have started challenging myself to write 500 words a day and have found that is a much easier discipline to follow than if I were to say I just wanted to “write more.”

4. Get off social media.

I am sorry to say that the greatest inhibiter of your self-discipline is undoubtedly social media. Maybe you’re a special unicorn human who doesn’t get distracted by scrolling endlessly through Instagram or taking more pictures of your work than actually doing it. Congratulations, you can skip over this section and please, please shoot me an email detailing exactly how you do it.

If you are not a special unicorn human, you probably need to set some boundaries between you and social media. Maybe you keep your phone in a different room than the one you sleep in and don’t check it until after you’ve already written in a journal for an hour or made breakfast. Maybe you have certain work hours where you turn your phone off and put it away. I am a big advocate for days of social media fasting at a time, but I don’t think it’s necessary. You can set small rules during certain hours of the day to maximize productivity and accomplish goals.

5. Practice gratitude.

Just as discipline begets discipline I also believe that gratitude begets discipline. If we are not seeing the gifts in our lives, we have a tendency to become apathetic and sluggish, adapting a “woe is me” mentality. I adjusted to a new nannying job this fall, and until I was actively practicing gratitude every day, I just sat on the couch, watched daytime television and felt sorry for myself. If you find yourself unmotivated and lacking discipline, start writing a gratitude list every morning. Gratitude has a way of championing us in all aspects of our life, including inviting us to be more purposeful.

6. Extend grace.

Just like anything else in this life, you will not do self-discipline perfectly. The best way to fail at discipline is to put the expectation of perfection on it. When we expect to be perfect and then fail, it creates all kinds of shame in us. Shame says things like, “Why would you even try when you knew that you were going to fail?” Shame is really good at convincing us to not try again. Start small, set realistic goals, and extend grace to yourself when you are not perfectly disciplined. It is always about becoming stronger, braver and more purposeful; it is never about being perfect.

Who is Windrose for?

These are words for those who are wandering and wondering through the open spaces of young adulthood, words for those navigating the unchartered seas of a life all your own. Whether starting a new job or investing more in your current one, moving to a new city or creating a home where you already are, making new friends or feeling the loss of your old ones, booking that trip to Europe or only staring at a calendar void of vacation days, Windrose is for YOU.

Where do you ship?

We can only ship within the United States. Sorry to our international friends! We still love you! But you can still get your digital copy of Windrose!

When can I expect to receive my copy of Windrose?

Windrose Magazine is back in stock! Woo! You can expect to receive your magazine by the 3rd week of December -- just in time for December graduations and Christmas!

How will you be shipping these magazines?

We will be mailing your magazine via United States Postal Service. You will receive a tracking number via email once your magazine has been shipped.

Anything else I should know?

No returns; all sales final.

I still have questions...

Just shoot us an email at info@thatfirstyearblog.com and we'll respond as quickly as we can!

Featured

The End of An Era: Saying Goodbye to Windrose

Hi friends,

Announcement (sounds so formal, doesn’t it?):

It's the end of an era.

I’ve decided that, after nearly 8 years of telling stories of navigating life, this season of Windrose is drawing to a close.

Even Here: Words for When You're Wandering

When I was 22 years old, I visited the desert for the first time.

A metaphorical desert, if we’re getting technical.

I was fresh out of college, starry-eyed and eager to begin my post-grad life. I had big ‘ole me-centered dreams: a shiny, brag-worthy PR job in the music industry! An apartment with an exposed brick wall that (somehow) would fit an upright piano! A committed relationship with a kind, goofy man!

I got exactly none of those things.

To summarize an entire year’s worth of emotion: I was devastated.

What is Home?

Late last night, I flew back into town after a week away, the city lights covering the Valley like a blanket of incandescent flowers. I’ve flown into Phoenix at least a dozen times at this point. Usually, I can identify a handful of landmarks, like my antenna-scarred South Mountain or the twinkling lights of the bridges spanning Tempe Town Lake.

Flying into Nashville, however, was always different.

I Don't Live Here Anymore

I recently returned to Nashville for the first time since moving to Phoenix five months ago.

Before my reunion, I often said that the word “home” could apply to both Nashville and Phoenix. Nashville is my home. Phoenix is my home. I could find that home-sweet-home feeling in both cities.

During my 8 days back, I frequented my old haunts. The brickwalled coffee shop still serves the meanest mocha in town. The hillside winery still proves to be a worthwhile spot to sip away a sunny Sunday afternoon. The hip burger joint still offers a lovely evening to dine with friends, new and old. The lime-green Mexican restaurant on the corner of Whitebridge still feels like a queso-soaked refuge.

There were many “stills,” but there were changes, too.

Why did you move?

A cardstock print sits propped against the lamp on my desk: a taupe watercolor swipe outlining a peakside Saguaro, the sun a tiny ring above. Beneath this minimalist illustration are these words in typeface: “I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

I happened upon this notecard-sized print on the way out of a shop last weekend, after already having completed another purchase. It was the last print of its kind in the pile. I had to have it. I returned to the cashier: “This one, too.”

You see, this verse has been a thread weaving through my story, simple words spoken by a prophet long dead, a passage of comfort I’ve returned to again and again since my pilgrimage to the desert four years ago, when I inked a cactus on my wrist.

The Good Old Days

Last week was National Margarita Day.

I did not, however, celebrate the holiday. Truthfully, I’ve yet to find THE Mexican place here in Phoenix. You know the one: gaudy decorations, cheap food, even cheaper margaritas.

But there’s a Mexican restaurant at the corner of Charlotte and Whitebridge in Nashville, TN.

You may have heard of it.

Witching Hour (or, Fighting Off Demons at 3 am with a Box Cutter)

Between the hours of 3 - 4 am, I find myself awakened by nothing in particular. The room is silent. There is no sound outside. No loud car horns. No dogs barking.

I’m upset.

I wish it was something other than just me. Then I could stop it. Nothing is to blame. It feels like moments have passed since I closed my eyes. The moments of a long dreamless sleep last about 4 hours.

10 Life Lessons This Cross-Country Move is Attempting to Teach Me

There are a few lessons life has attempted to teach me since my move — all things that I haven’t yet spiced up into a full essay, but deserve to be memorialized by my metaphorical pen nonetheless.

So I present a collection of lessons I’ve learned — and am still learning — in the last 3 months.

What Will Your Life Look Like?

Tomorrow marks 3 months.

Three months here, sharing a zip code with Saguaros.

“So how is Phoenix?” a friend asked me over the phone as I sat on my balcony beneath glowing string lights, a pour of raspberry wine in my hand. The sun was setting, painting the eastern mountains with rosy swipes of redemption.

How has Phoenix been these last three months?

What is it Trying to Tell You, if Only You’d Listen?

I went on a date recently. Two glasses of Riesling, pleasant conversation, and a perfectly amicable guy — it was an altogether fine evening.

However, I wasn’t interested in a second date.

Not because of any run-for-the-hills red flags. Not because I didn’t think he was cute. Not because we didn’t get along. I simply — wasn’t interested.

There’s no better way to explain it. No fear-based avoidance of the potential for a healthy relationship. No disdain for commitment that needs a heavy round of therapy to work through. Nothing deeper than the inner sense that a second date just wasn’t necessary.

But, I said yes to getting dinner again with him.

The Other Side of Yes

I’m a No Girl.

In many ways, this is a good thing. I’m able to confidently decline invitations that disinterest me.

“Want to go whitewater rafting?” No thank you, I’m comfy right here on the bank.

“Want to do a shot?” No thank you, I’ll take my liquor with lime juice and Triple Sec, plz.

“Want to try this carrot cake?” No thank you, Harry, I can’t eat gluten.

“Want to go to Broadway?” No thank you, I’d prefer to go to bed.

In many ways, however, being a No Girl originates less from personal boundaries and more from fear. Fear and I happen to be pretty tight; we talk on the daily. Fear has been the primary consultant for many of my life decisions, in fact.

A Song for Growth

A year ago, a friend of mine got a job at a well known tech company. He had been slogging through the interviews, and he finally got an offer. Obviously he deserved it. He was a hard worker, and his attitude for success and life was admirable to say the least. I knew he was beyond qualified.

But at the time, I was on a career path I couldn’t see myself being happy in. I had made the mistake of staying in the industry mainly for the money. Every month in the industry was a reminder of how much I did not want to stay. It created a nasty cycle of overthinking and career angst. Feelings of inadequacy and existentialism rooted themselves deep inside me. I couldn’t focus on anything and was utterly disconnected from the work I was doing.

I admit I wasn’t happy for him.

Dreams, Health, LifeChelsey SatterleeDecember 7, 2017FeaturedComment