1. 5 BOOKS THAT CHANGE YOU

“Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic,” J.K. Rowling wrote. My girl J.K. nailed it, because I firmly believe words can challenge and shape our perspectives on life. Below are 5 books that I have read multiple times and highlighted the ish outta the pages. I’ve included some of my favorite lines to give you a preview of the goodness you can expect in each book.”

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2. THE BEGINNING, THE MIDDLE, THE END

“Suddenly, I was crying like I had been broken open.

It was cool and misty and there was nobody around to hear me. I sat in the center of the labyrinth and I breathed deep from the center of me until the tears ran dry. I have always believed I am the sum total of everyone I know, and in that moment, as things were beginning and in the middle and ending, I felt all those people behind me, with me, sending me off.”

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3. FOR EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON

“For all the struggles of my post-grad job search, and all the questions it's brought me, in my heart of hearts I know I picked the right path. Book publishing is a hell of a world and I love being in it. But what have I missed? What's going on in the music world I never knew? Is it possible to have FOMO—fear of missing out, that enigmatic gnaw at your heart that says you should be anywhere but where you are—is it possible to feel that for something I was never a part of to begin with?”

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4. WHAT I MIGHT HAVE TOLD HER

“I might have nodded, I might have offered that there’s no way to prepare for post-grad. I might have expanded by suggesting there’s no preparation for any transition, not at this age, nor at any age, really. I’ve spoken about this with my parents. When you’re there, you are simply there. It will happen to you.”

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5. 3 SIGNS THAT IT’S TIME TO LEAVE YOUR JOB

“Misery had fallen over me with a thick icy rush. Well into my second year at the company, I realized all at once that each of the slight upsets I’d experienced during the job had joined together to form a mammoth melancholy. I hadn’t received the opportunities I was originally promised. Snow. I was getting bored doing the same trivial work. Snow. I watched my teammates get disrespected over and over again. Snow. I myself wasn’t being treated with basic human kindness. Trigger.

Questions loomed in my mind as I trekked to the office: What if I just didn’t show up today? Is the money worth this heartache? Should I take a risk and quit?”

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6. ON DOING LESS

“It’s not giving up. It’s not an inability to prioritize. It’s a reassessment of those sky-high standards. It’s looking really closely at myself and saying, “I believe in me. But today, I will just do what I have to do. I will wake up, and get to work on time, and do the important things that need to be done, and take a deep breath if the to-do list isn’t all crossed off by tomorrow. Tomorrow, if I just need to do what I have to do, that’s okay. And the day after that, and the day after that. I will do what I have to do, until I can handle doing it. And until that’s done, everything else can wait.”

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7. A LESSON IN GRIEF

“So, like anyone who has had suffered a huge loss, I simply shut down. I spent weeks full of to-do lists that were never completed, or to-do lists that were never written because I knew with certainty I would never even look at it. The short, random bursts of energy I did have resulted in purging my closet of belongings that I thought didn’t suit a woman in my state of life (that is, single, living at home, no job – but I saw that as “adulthood”) or culminated in a hurried decision to travel to several states away on a whim, which eventually lead to me totaling my car on a mountain pass in the rain.”

Read the post here.

8. 4 TOOLS TO EARN EXTRA CASH

"Hello, new graduate learning how to live off an entry-level salary. I am here with you in your budgeting learning curve.

This past year, I’ve been working an Americorps job, which basically means I’m a glorified full-time volunteer who is tossed some loose change every couple of weeks. OKAY so maybe I’m leaning too far into hyperbole (my fave rhetorical device!)—I’ve actually been able to live comfortably AND travel to Norway and London this year (will forever argue that it is SO POSSIBLE to travel on any budget).

So I can’t pretend like I’ve been sacrificing my way of life all that much, even if my monthly pay is laughably-low.

BUT I can say that this small income has challenged me to be intentional about how I spend my money, including ways to earn additional income, even if it’s only $10. Because every dollar counts when you are getting paid less than minimum wage!”

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9. POST-GRAD AND ANXIETY

“'I am so anxious.'

Every May, thousands of graduates adopt this mantra as their go-to response to the incessant question of “so, how are you?” As someone with a close familiarity with anxiety, I am hyper-aware of its sudden increase in use in daily conversations. This is the phrase I hear countless friends use, and very aptly so. We are anxious in every connotation of the word: we are excited, nervous, shaky, unsure, ready to get it over with, and ready to begin. We are all caught in the uncomfortable company of this ambiguous agitation, some struggling to get past it and others simply living in it for all it’s worth.”

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10. FINDING MY PLACE

“It’s been difficult for me to articulate why, exactly, this election feels like the bullies—the ones I was always comforted about, told not to worry about, told I would be more than and rise above of—won.

But my life is pretty good. What right do I have to speak of the suffering so many marginalized folks fear is ahead, or has already arrived? What right do I have to try and wrap my head around the suffering that so many people have already faced, in lives much longer—or much shorter—than mine?”

Read the post here.

***

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The End of An Era: Saying Goodbye to Windrose

Hi friends,

Announcement (sounds so formal, doesn’t it?):

It's the end of an era.

I’ve decided that, after nearly 8 years of telling stories of navigating life, this season of Windrose is drawing to a close.

Even Here: Words for When You're Wandering

When I was 22 years old, I visited the desert for the first time.

A metaphorical desert, if we’re getting technical.

I was fresh out of college, starry-eyed and eager to begin my post-grad life. I had big ‘ole me-centered dreams: a shiny, brag-worthy PR job in the music industry! An apartment with an exposed brick wall that (somehow) would fit an upright piano! A committed relationship with a kind, goofy man!

I got exactly none of those things.

To summarize an entire year’s worth of emotion: I was devastated.

What is Home?

Late last night, I flew back into town after a week away, the city lights covering the Valley like a blanket of incandescent flowers. I’ve flown into Phoenix at least a dozen times at this point. Usually, I can identify a handful of landmarks, like my antenna-scarred South Mountain or the twinkling lights of the bridges spanning Tempe Town Lake.

Flying into Nashville, however, was always different.

I Don't Live Here Anymore

I recently returned to Nashville for the first time since moving to Phoenix five months ago.

Before my reunion, I often said that the word “home” could apply to both Nashville and Phoenix. Nashville is my home. Phoenix is my home. I could find that home-sweet-home feeling in both cities.

During my 8 days back, I frequented my old haunts. The brickwalled coffee shop still serves the meanest mocha in town. The hillside winery still proves to be a worthwhile spot to sip away a sunny Sunday afternoon. The hip burger joint still offers a lovely evening to dine with friends, new and old. The lime-green Mexican restaurant on the corner of Whitebridge still feels like a queso-soaked refuge.

There were many “stills,” but there were changes, too.

Why did you move?

A cardstock print sits propped against the lamp on my desk: a taupe watercolor swipe outlining a peakside Saguaro, the sun a tiny ring above. Beneath this minimalist illustration are these words in typeface: “I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

I happened upon this notecard-sized print on the way out of a shop last weekend, after already having completed another purchase. It was the last print of its kind in the pile. I had to have it. I returned to the cashier: “This one, too.”

You see, this verse has been a thread weaving through my story, simple words spoken by a prophet long dead, a passage of comfort I’ve returned to again and again since my pilgrimage to the desert four years ago, when I inked a cactus on my wrist.

The Good Old Days

Last week was National Margarita Day.

I did not, however, celebrate the holiday. Truthfully, I’ve yet to find THE Mexican place here in Phoenix. You know the one: gaudy decorations, cheap food, even cheaper margaritas.

But there’s a Mexican restaurant at the corner of Charlotte and Whitebridge in Nashville, TN.

You may have heard of it.

Witching Hour (or, Fighting Off Demons at 3 am with a Box Cutter)

Between the hours of 3 - 4 am, I find myself awakened by nothing in particular. The room is silent. There is no sound outside. No loud car horns. No dogs barking.

I’m upset.

I wish it was something other than just me. Then I could stop it. Nothing is to blame. It feels like moments have passed since I closed my eyes. The moments of a long dreamless sleep last about 4 hours.

10 Life Lessons This Cross-Country Move is Attempting to Teach Me

There are a few lessons life has attempted to teach me since my move — all things that I haven’t yet spiced up into a full essay, but deserve to be memorialized by my metaphorical pen nonetheless.

So I present a collection of lessons I’ve learned — and am still learning — in the last 3 months.

What Will Your Life Look Like?

Tomorrow marks 3 months.

Three months here, sharing a zip code with Saguaros.

“So how is Phoenix?” a friend asked me over the phone as I sat on my balcony beneath glowing string lights, a pour of raspberry wine in my hand. The sun was setting, painting the eastern mountains with rosy swipes of redemption.

How has Phoenix been these last three months?

What is it Trying to Tell You, if Only You’d Listen?

I went on a date recently. Two glasses of Riesling, pleasant conversation, and a perfectly amicable guy — it was an altogether fine evening.

However, I wasn’t interested in a second date.

Not because of any run-for-the-hills red flags. Not because I didn’t think he was cute. Not because we didn’t get along. I simply — wasn’t interested.

There’s no better way to explain it. No fear-based avoidance of the potential for a healthy relationship. No disdain for commitment that needs a heavy round of therapy to work through. Nothing deeper than the inner sense that a second date just wasn’t necessary.

But, I said yes to getting dinner again with him.

The Other Side of Yes

I’m a No Girl.

In many ways, this is a good thing. I’m able to confidently decline invitations that disinterest me.

“Want to go whitewater rafting?” No thank you, I’m comfy right here on the bank.

“Want to do a shot?” No thank you, I’ll take my liquor with lime juice and Triple Sec, plz.

“Want to try this carrot cake?” No thank you, Harry, I can’t eat gluten.

“Want to go to Broadway?” No thank you, I’d prefer to go to bed.

In many ways, however, being a No Girl originates less from personal boundaries and more from fear. Fear and I happen to be pretty tight; we talk on the daily. Fear has been the primary consultant for many of my life decisions, in fact.

A Song for Growth

A year ago, a friend of mine got a job at a well known tech company. He had been slogging through the interviews, and he finally got an offer. Obviously he deserved it. He was a hard worker, and his attitude for success and life was admirable to say the least. I knew he was beyond qualified.

But at the time, I was on a career path I couldn’t see myself being happy in. I had made the mistake of staying in the industry mainly for the money. Every month in the industry was a reminder of how much I did not want to stay. It created a nasty cycle of overthinking and career angst. Feelings of inadequacy and existentialism rooted themselves deep inside me. I couldn’t focus on anything and was utterly disconnected from the work I was doing.

I admit I wasn’t happy for him.

Ally WillisAugust 10, 2017Comment

Top 10 Most-Read Posts of 2017 (So Far)

1. 5 BOOKS THAT CHANGE YOU

2. THE BEGINNING, THE MIDDLE, THE END

3. FOR EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON

4. WHAT I MIGHT HAVE TOLD HER

5. 3 SIGNS THAT IT’S TIME TO LEAVE YOUR JOB

6. ON DOING LESS

7. A LESSON IN GRIEF

8. 4 TOOLS TO EARN EXTRA CASH

9. POST-GRAD AND ANXIETY

10. FINDING MY PLACE

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