Three days after my birthday I got dumped. Plain and simple. I was about to leave for a month in Germany, followed by a more permanent residence in Alabama for graduate school, when my boyfriend said he wasn’t prepared for the distance. It hurt, I cried, and then I drank more wine than I should have.
Read MoreI was in fifth grade the first time I denied myself food to lose weight. It started because a boy I really liked asked me to dance at a school event one Friday night. I found out the next day that he had been paid to do so and him and his friends had an array of inside jokes involving how many fat rolls they could count on my stomach. I vowed to never eat a thing containing sugar ever again.
Read MoreI have tried to write about this topic at least a half a dozen times in the last three years, but every time I do something inside of me freezes up. I don’t like to talk about weight loss. Not over coffee, not in a blog post, not even inside the safety of my counselor’s office. I have talked about it in all those settings before, but every time I do I feel like I’m getting repeatedly punched in the gut afterward. I feel exposed and vulnerable in a way that is unique to discussing physical appearance. I always fear coming across as superficial and insensitive if I am completely candid.
Read MoreAn older cousin—whose input I actually warrant and respect—made a comment a few weeks back as I tried to explain my vague-ass postgrad plans. The tone was definitely backhanded, but it wasn’t that accusatory.
“Okay, nice. Your generation sure does take its time.”
Read MoreA couple of weeks ago—two days after sitting on cactus-covered mountains in Phoenix and journaling words of life and growth in the desert—I lost my shit. You know these type of lose-your-shit moments: the one where Truth and Reason go on an overnight trip without you, leaving you alone at home with all these crazy, irrational thoughts—thoughts that you KNOW aren’t true, but thoughts that you decide to throw a rager with anyways.
Read MoreI felt so accomplished and ready for adult life after graduating from Penn State, but I was under the assumption that I would get a good, decent paying job that I really enjoyed! I mean, that is why I went to college in the first place, right?
Read MoreWhat is my "one day I will" dream? Why don’t I know all of these languages? What if I’ve missed an opportunity—or several— to really pursue my dreams? Am I living up to my potential as a human and a woman? Am I even adulting/womaning correctly?!
Read MoreI have friends who are in the desert right now. Life feels dry; hope feels impossible. Every day is the same, wandering through an endless stretch of sand and rocks without a clear sense of direction, the sun beating down without reprieve. As the infinitely-wise sociologist and author Brené Brown writes, “Despair is a spiritual condition. It’s the belief that tomorrow will be just like today.” The desert feels so much like a place of despair, a place of death.
Read MoreDespite my desire to be productive and quiet, I allowed myself a moment to listen. Several minutes later, and I was able to gain a few nuggets of wisdom from this man. His genuine need to be heard was warranted, as I walked away with new insights. Though nothing was entirely new, hearing simple reminders from an older person made them somewhat fresh. I was reminded that life flies by, that stressing out about things out of your control only lengthens the misery, and that being there for other people is a mutually beneficial practice.
Read MoreWhat I wasn’t prepared for, and one that I had only partially thought about, was talking about just me. Or at least, that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. It really is something that most of us tend to gloss over when prepping for an interview when so many companies are looking at your personality, or sales numbers, or what internship you did last summer (and yes, you should have an internship under your belt by the time you graduate).
After a multitude of interviews, reading several LinkedIn articles, and consulting with some former professors and bosses, here is a solid way to answer the question, “Tell me about yourself?”
Read MoreI couldn’t bind up other people’s problems and make everything okay. I just couldn’t. I learned that I am not superman; I can’t save people. I learned that sometimes people choose to be unhealthy, that they choose to be in dangerous situations, but that I don’t have to support bad choices. I learned that I can walk away. Sometimes walking away means that you lose a friend, but it often means that you gain some clarity and peace. I learned that I can’t please everyone because in the words of Brené Brown I’m not “the jackass whisperer.”
Read More“It’s called real life, and it’s cracked and fragile.”
Real life seems to be awfully cracked and fragile lately.
I have friends who are hurting—friends mourning the unexpected death of family, friends grieving the loss of friendships, friends fearing potential layoffs, friends aching from loneliness or a feeling of not measuring up to their peers. So many people in my life seem to be carrying with them their own fanny pack of hurts these days.
Read MoreWe’ve all made it through the not so good days, no matter the cost. Some of us cope with hard times better than others. Although we’d all like to say we can “just get over it” in a snap, sometimes that isn’t possible. That’s when we put on a brave face and take on the world as if nothing happened in the first place.
Read MoreI thought I’d be writing this post with my whole life figured out. A perfectly stenciled career plan in place. Trips around the world and days of jet lag under my belt. Well on my way to finding Mr. Right.
I am here to tell you that one year later, I have achieved exactly none of these things.
Read MoreIf you were to do the math, I have probably lost countless hours of my life to scrolling through social media; this is troubling. So one of my hopes for this year is to read more and scroll less. If you’re on the same page as me (pun very much intended!!!) with the goal to read more, I thought a Book of the Month series might be a good addition to That First Year. My hope for this series is that we, as a community, could come together and read good books and then suggest good books to others. Here's why you need to read January's Book of the Month, The Power of Habit.
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