This Is Temporary

You’re fresh out of college, ready to conquer the world, get your own place, and find a kickass job. This is the American dream that we all worked our asses off for, right?!

WRONG.

Remember when adults would tell us to stop wanting to grow up so fast, and enjoy being a kid? Yeah, me too. WHY didn’t we take their advice?! Being an adult seemed so fun and the freedom seemed so exciting. Well, newsflash, being an adult is not always fun or exciting.

I felt so accomplished and ready for adult life after graduating from Penn State, but I was under the assumption that I would get a good, decent paying job that I really enjoyed! I mean, that is why I went to college in the first place, right?

Over the last two years, I was working my first full-time job, post college, while living pay check to pay check. You would think that the full-time job that I needed a college degree for would suffice and allow me to live comfortably, but it didn’t. As I am getting older, and trying to not fail at this adult thing, I am realizing that you have to start at the very bottom of the career ladder before making any kind of decent money. Turns out, you need a degree AND experience in order to advance in life.

My job was not the worst, but my job was definitely not the best. I was working as a child case manager and though the job was rewarding at times, it was slowly crushing my soul. It is very disheartening and deflating to work your ass off in college for 4+ years, just to work at a job where your hard work is not appreciated, and you’re being paid next to nothing.

To be honest, I quit this job twice. I quit October of 2016 and in September of 2017. Twice, I let the feelings of disappointment and anger get in the way of focusing on my career goals. I loathed my job so much, that I began to explore other career options that I didn’t even go to school for. However, I do not regret quitting either time. Yes, I left because of my unhappiness, but I needed to take the time for myself to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. It helped me realize that I am on the career path that I want to be on, and that I need to work hard and climb the career ladder, step by step, to become the therapist that I want to be.

Did I hate waking up every morning to go to a job that I did not love? Absolutely. Will I love waking up every morning to go counsel active military/military families/veterans? ABSOLUTELY. We have to make it happen for ourselves. I have discovered that no one is going to apply to their dream job and get it before working very hard for it.

Some words of wisdom for college students and soon-to-be grads from my own experience:

Do not get discouraged by a job, like I did.
Do not give up on a job because it sucks, like I did. (There seems to be a trend here.)
Remember that your education is only the beginning.
You don’t deserve anything. You need to work hard for what you want.
Nothing worth having comes easy.
Keep your eye on the prize.

For those of you who can relate or are not happy with your current job situation, just remember these three words: This is temporary.

By keeping our heads up and focusing on where we want to end up in our lives, rather than letting our current situations deflate us, we can only be successful. Eventually, I will get where I want to be, and so will you!

[Photo by Julie Bloom.]

Who is Windrose for?

These are words for those who are wandering and wondering through the open spaces of young adulthood, words for those navigating the unchartered seas of a life all your own. Whether starting a new job or investing more in your current one, moving to a new city or creating a home where you already are, making new friends or feeling the loss of your old ones, booking that trip to Europe or only staring at a calendar void of vacation days, Windrose is for YOU.

Where do you ship?

We can only ship within the United States. Sorry to our international friends! We still love you! But you can still get your digital copy of Windrose!

When can I expect to receive my copy of Windrose?

Windrose Magazine is back in stock! HOORAY! You can expect to receive it 7-9 business days after your order.

How will you be shipping these magazines?

We will be mailing your magazine via United States Postal Service. You will receive a tracking number via email once your magazine has been shipped.

Anything else I should know?

No returns; all sales final.

I still have questions...

Just shoot us an email at info@thatfirstyearblog.com and we'll respond as quickly as we can!

Featured

The End of An Era: Saying Goodbye to Windrose

Hi friends,

Announcement (sounds so formal, doesn’t it?):

It's the end of an era.

I’ve decided that, after nearly 8 years of telling stories of navigating life, this season of Windrose is drawing to a close.

Even Here: Words for When You're Wandering

When I was 22 years old, I visited the desert for the first time.

A metaphorical desert, if we’re getting technical.

I was fresh out of college, starry-eyed and eager to begin my post-grad life. I had big ‘ole me-centered dreams: a shiny, brag-worthy PR job in the music industry! An apartment with an exposed brick wall that (somehow) would fit an upright piano! A committed relationship with a kind, goofy man!

I got exactly none of those things.

To summarize an entire year’s worth of emotion: I was devastated.

Witching Hour (or, Fighting Off Demons at 3 am with a Box Cutter)

Between the hours of 3 - 4 am, I find myself awakened by nothing in particular. The room is silent. There is no sound outside. No loud car horns. No dogs barking.

I’m upset.

I wish it was something other than just me. Then I could stop it. Nothing is to blame. It feels like moments have passed since I closed my eyes. The moments of a long dreamless sleep last about 4 hours.

A Song for Growth

A year ago, a friend of mine got a job at a well known tech company. He had been slogging through the interviews, and he finally got an offer. Obviously he deserved it. He was a hard worker, and his attitude for success and life was admirable to say the least. I knew he was beyond qualified.

But at the time, I was on a career path I couldn’t see myself being happy in. I had made the mistake of staying in the industry mainly for the money. Every month in the industry was a reminder of how much I did not want to stay. It created a nasty cycle of overthinking and career angst. Feelings of inadequacy and existentialism rooted themselves deep inside me. I couldn’t focus on anything and was utterly disconnected from the work I was doing.

I admit I wasn’t happy for him.

A Song for the In Between

It may be over.

Despite its nature, the concept is definitive. The body is better at preparation than action, so the concept invokes an uncontrolled reaction. The sweaty palms; the rusted coils in the stomach; the feeling of teetering on the edge—my body thinks I’m dying.

It tries to save me from myself. It transforms into a spring to weather elements. Or a boulder. I am hunched, prepared for the event.

But there’s nothing to save me from. My life isn’t in danger. I’m not being chased by a wolf. I sit on the couch. I sit in my chair, still. I am, in theory, perfectly healthy.

Yet my mind paces.

A Song for the Nocturnal

I woke up again and knew I wasn’t going back to sleep.

The alarm wasn’t even close to waking up. The cracked light through my drapes showed the indigo sky—a shade I’ve come to refer to as “you’re not sleeping tonight” blue. I looked at my phone but already knew what it would read before the screen turned on: 3am.

It was the third night in a row I’ve woken up at this time. In the past, options to tackle this insomnia were aplenty: I could go back to sleep after a drink of water. I could read and drift off. I could even play some video games until sleep lulled me back. But lately, my mind pulls the body along a joyride of thought. It starts and doesn’t stop. It has become loud and uncontrollable, like a child. In dead silence this time brings, my mind wakes before my body can at 3am.

3am. Historically, I’ve gotten along with this time.

One could say I’ve preferred the night in my life.

A Song for Embracing the Present Moment

Despite the sun’s rays and the heightened sense of joy in the air that wafted like perfume, I was feeling gray. Over the year, COVID-19 made me uncertain about my future. In my life, like most people, the pandemic revealed certain aspects of life that weren’t previously apparent. Maybe for some it was relationship issues. Maybe it was cabin fever or job uncertainty.

In my case, my career path was no longer clear. I was increasingly aware of this fact as the days dragged on in isolation. Throw in the economic flux of the job market, a splash of consistent restlessness, and you have a cocktail of underlying anxiety.

Caught in a web of thought and analysis-paralysis, I often spent more time pondering the future than acknowledging the present day.

Is This Everything You Wanted, Now That It's Everything You Have?

Is this everything you wanted, now that it’s everything you have?

This question haunts the intro of a song by singer/songwriter Noah Gundersen. At just 2 minutes and 16 seconds, the song is short but packs power like a summer thunderhead. I’ve listened to this song so many times in the last six months, and yet every time I hear it, it does that thing that all good songs do, making your heart feel like it just might burst from an inflation of emotion.

Is this everything you wanted, now that it’s everything you have?

On the surface, yes.

You Can Do Hard Things

“Would you rather be comfortable?” my roommate, Chelsey, asked me.

Work has weighed heavily on me these last several weeks, and on this particular day, I felt like I was on the precipice of a cliffside drop into a panic attack. As I boiled noodles and browned ground turkey, I shared my stresses with my friend as stray tears tried to make a quick getaway from my eyes.

Would I rather be comfortable or challenged?

Unwritten: Overcoming Fear and Doubt

You know that feeling when you first discover something and that something new-to-you suddenly appears everywhere? It happens to me a lot with words, the once unfamiliar expressions jumping from each subsequent page I read or floating through the air, only to rap on my eardrums.

Lately, I’ve felt that way about writing.

Keep Going: Thoughts on Celebrating Four Years of Windrose

I have given up on so many things.

Keep going isn’t exactly my life motto. I’m an instant-results girl, which is why cooking and 5-o’clock traffic bring me such mental anguish.

But today Windrose is celebrating four years of existing in this li’l Internet space—four years of stories told of navigating the challenges and triumphs of life in your twenties.

Waiting for Happy

For my entire life, this has been my dream. Freezing cold, sitting on the roof of my apartment, staring out at New York City in all its glory, at 2 o’clock in the morning, listening to Billy Joel. It really, truly does not get better than this.

But at the same time, it could.

Because there’s something that no one tells you about getting your dreams: Sometimes, it’s not what you thought it would be. Because sometimes, dreams change.

Career, DreamsOlivia DelVecchioFebruary 1, 20181 Comment