How to Handle Criticism Like A Pro

Writing this isn’t easy. I keep typing and deleting, then typing and deleting some more. I never used to be this way; I was so confident, so self-assured, in my storytelling abilities. But now, each time I craft a sentence, I imagine what the commentary from my peers would be: That’s superfluous. That’s so cheesy. What does that even have to do with your intention? So as I write (and un-write), I’m a bit unsure where intuition begins and fear ends.

As a current student in graduate school for writing, I will ultimately be working in a creative field where criticism inevitably comes with the territory. My classes are mostly in a critique workshop format, with lecture elements sprinkled in here and there. The truth is, many of us who view ourselves as “artist types” tend to be on the sensitive side (ahem, whether or not we’d actually like to admit that to ourselves is a totally different thing!) and we often prefer to shy away from criticism whenever possible.

However, it’s also very important to realize that criticism is something that should actually be embraced, because it can be used to our advantage in so many ways. So while I can pretend to know what my classmates would say and then feel insecure about it, what actually matters most is telling the story that’s in my heart so that I can encourage you to be able to do the same. In my experience as a writer, I’ve come to find that the following three methods can easily turn you into a feedback-receiving pro, no matter what field you’ve chosen to go into. Most importantly, they will help you to take a more objective stance, which is essential to counteract the undeniably subjective nature of criticism (as well as to prevent yourself from crying, let’s be real here!)

1. Know how to determine “constructive” versus “destructive” criticism.

Here’s a good hint: constructive criticism should make you feel inspired, whereas destructive criticism will make you feel like a crybaby (you’re not, though). The first sounds a lot like, “Here is an area that can be strengthened and here’s how you can go about it,” whereas the latter sounds like “You’re not good, sorry.” When you set your ego aside and maintain an “I’m willing to improve” mentality, constructive criticism will make you a better person. Destructive criticism is more of a verbal sucker-punch, a malicious or emotionally unintelligent comment without offering any possible solutions for future improvement. We’ve all been the recipient of both of these types at one time or another. Getting truly helpful feedback, though, is so important; it’s how we learn and grow as individuals in every aspect of our lives: career, relationships, you name it. Take good care of yourself by ignoring anything that’s said unless it’s constructive.

2. Decide which elements of what you’ve been told actually have merit.

Not every aspect of feedback you receive is going to seem like a very good idea. Trust your gut on this one. Unless your job/grades depend on it, remember that it’s more than okay to have a “your life, your rules” approach: you get to decide which ideas work for you and which you’d rather leave on the sidelines, maybe for a later time—or maybe for never! Think of the process of using feedback like it’s a collage (or even a cocktail if you’re feelin’ fancy!): play around with different suggestions and see which combination will make for the best fit. Sometimes you may find that the people providing you with criticism hold conflicting opinions, and it may very well be up to you to decide whom you agree with. Try to have fun with it—it will make the process far less painful!

3. Consider the source.

Woah, hold up now! Is this person even qualified to gift you with their ~*majestic judgmental commentary*~? Be wary of some well-intentioned folks who have no idea what they’re talking about. If someone tells you to change something, yet is unfamiliar with the craft, it might not be a great decision to blindly follow their advice. Sometimes, though, there can be ironically a surprising benefit to this; on occasion, you may actually try to purposefully seek out those who have no experience to get an “outsider’s” opinion. In my case, I often ask people to read my short stories, novel chapters, essays, and poems who have no writing background whatsoever. If you’re in a creative field, what can often matter even more than advice from the experts (!) is the opinion of the audience. Whether or not you’ve got yourself an appreciative bunch is the deciding factor of what works and what doesn’t.

Do you have any other favorite “go-to’s” when it comes to handling criticism? Let us know in the comments below to share the knowledge/spread the love!

[Photo by Katie Serena.]

Who is Windrose for?

These are words for those who are wandering and wondering through the open spaces of young adulthood, words for those navigating the unchartered seas of a life all your own. Whether starting a new job or investing more in your current one, moving to a new city or creating a home where you already are, making new friends or feeling the loss of your old ones, booking that trip to Europe or only staring at a calendar void of vacation days, Windrose is for YOU.

Where do you ship?

We can only ship within the United States. Sorry to our international friends! We still love you! But you can still get your digital copy of Windrose!

When can I expect to receive my copy of Windrose?

Windrose Magazine is back in stock! HOORAY! You can expect to receive it 7-9 business days after your order.

How will you be shipping these magazines?

We will be mailing your magazine via United States Postal Service. You will receive a tracking number via email once your magazine has been shipped.

Anything else I should know?

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The End of An Era: Saying Goodbye to Windrose

Hi friends,

Announcement (sounds so formal, doesn’t it?):

It's the end of an era.

I’ve decided that, after nearly 8 years of telling stories of navigating life, this season of Windrose is drawing to a close.

Even Here: Words for When You're Wandering

When I was 22 years old, I visited the desert for the first time.

A metaphorical desert, if we’re getting technical.

I was fresh out of college, starry-eyed and eager to begin my post-grad life. I had big ‘ole me-centered dreams: a shiny, brag-worthy PR job in the music industry! An apartment with an exposed brick wall that (somehow) would fit an upright piano! A committed relationship with a kind, goofy man!

I got exactly none of those things.

To summarize an entire year’s worth of emotion: I was devastated.

Witching Hour (or, Fighting Off Demons at 3 am with a Box Cutter)

Between the hours of 3 - 4 am, I find myself awakened by nothing in particular. The room is silent. There is no sound outside. No loud car horns. No dogs barking.

I’m upset.

I wish it was something other than just me. Then I could stop it. Nothing is to blame. It feels like moments have passed since I closed my eyes. The moments of a long dreamless sleep last about 4 hours.

A Song for Growth

A year ago, a friend of mine got a job at a well known tech company. He had been slogging through the interviews, and he finally got an offer. Obviously he deserved it. He was a hard worker, and his attitude for success and life was admirable to say the least. I knew he was beyond qualified.

But at the time, I was on a career path I couldn’t see myself being happy in. I had made the mistake of staying in the industry mainly for the money. Every month in the industry was a reminder of how much I did not want to stay. It created a nasty cycle of overthinking and career angst. Feelings of inadequacy and existentialism rooted themselves deep inside me. I couldn’t focus on anything and was utterly disconnected from the work I was doing.

I admit I wasn’t happy for him.

A Song for the In Between

It may be over.

Despite its nature, the concept is definitive. The body is better at preparation than action, so the concept invokes an uncontrolled reaction. The sweaty palms; the rusted coils in the stomach; the feeling of teetering on the edge—my body thinks I’m dying.

It tries to save me from myself. It transforms into a spring to weather elements. Or a boulder. I am hunched, prepared for the event.

But there’s nothing to save me from. My life isn’t in danger. I’m not being chased by a wolf. I sit on the couch. I sit in my chair, still. I am, in theory, perfectly healthy.

Yet my mind paces.

A Song for the Nocturnal

I woke up again and knew I wasn’t going back to sleep.

The alarm wasn’t even close to waking up. The cracked light through my drapes showed the indigo sky—a shade I’ve come to refer to as “you’re not sleeping tonight” blue. I looked at my phone but already knew what it would read before the screen turned on: 3am.

It was the third night in a row I’ve woken up at this time. In the past, options to tackle this insomnia were aplenty: I could go back to sleep after a drink of water. I could read and drift off. I could even play some video games until sleep lulled me back. But lately, my mind pulls the body along a joyride of thought. It starts and doesn’t stop. It has become loud and uncontrollable, like a child. In dead silence this time brings, my mind wakes before my body can at 3am.

3am. Historically, I’ve gotten along with this time.

One could say I’ve preferred the night in my life.

A Song for Embracing the Present Moment

Despite the sun’s rays and the heightened sense of joy in the air that wafted like perfume, I was feeling gray. Over the year, COVID-19 made me uncertain about my future. In my life, like most people, the pandemic revealed certain aspects of life that weren’t previously apparent. Maybe for some it was relationship issues. Maybe it was cabin fever or job uncertainty.

In my case, my career path was no longer clear. I was increasingly aware of this fact as the days dragged on in isolation. Throw in the economic flux of the job market, a splash of consistent restlessness, and you have a cocktail of underlying anxiety.

Caught in a web of thought and analysis-paralysis, I often spent more time pondering the future than acknowledging the present day.

Is This Everything You Wanted, Now That It's Everything You Have?

Is this everything you wanted, now that it’s everything you have?

This question haunts the intro of a song by singer/songwriter Noah Gundersen. At just 2 minutes and 16 seconds, the song is short but packs power like a summer thunderhead. I’ve listened to this song so many times in the last six months, and yet every time I hear it, it does that thing that all good songs do, making your heart feel like it just might burst from an inflation of emotion.

Is this everything you wanted, now that it’s everything you have?

On the surface, yes.

You Can Do Hard Things

“Would you rather be comfortable?” my roommate, Chelsey, asked me.

Work has weighed heavily on me these last several weeks, and on this particular day, I felt like I was on the precipice of a cliffside drop into a panic attack. As I boiled noodles and browned ground turkey, I shared my stresses with my friend as stray tears tried to make a quick getaway from my eyes.

Would I rather be comfortable or challenged?

Unwritten: Overcoming Fear and Doubt

You know that feeling when you first discover something and that something new-to-you suddenly appears everywhere? It happens to me a lot with words, the once unfamiliar expressions jumping from each subsequent page I read or floating through the air, only to rap on my eardrums.

Lately, I’ve felt that way about writing.

Keep Going: Thoughts on Celebrating Four Years of Windrose

I have given up on so many things.

Keep going isn’t exactly my life motto. I’m an instant-results girl, which is why cooking and 5-o’clock traffic bring me such mental anguish.

But today Windrose is celebrating four years of existing in this li’l Internet space—four years of stories told of navigating the challenges and triumphs of life in your twenties.

Waiting for Happy

For my entire life, this has been my dream. Freezing cold, sitting on the roof of my apartment, staring out at New York City in all its glory, at 2 o’clock in the morning, listening to Billy Joel. It really, truly does not get better than this.

But at the same time, it could.

Because there’s something that no one tells you about getting your dreams: Sometimes, it’s not what you thought it would be. Because sometimes, dreams change.

CareerBrooke SaffermanFebruary 15, 2018FeaturedComment