At the beginning of the fall, when I was still in the adjusting-to-a-new-job-turned-teenage-angst phase, I would make lists of things I was grateful for to try and counteract my unease. I am a deep feeler if there ever was one, and it is hard for me to recognize something as truth if I don’t feel it is true. This makes gratitude lists in the midst of change and transition and fear of failing incredibly challenging, because I don’t feel like being grateful, thank you very much.
Read MoreI notice when I don’t take the time to make space for myself to breathe. I wake up without any energy. I can’t shake the feeling that something feels wrong. When I’m too busy, I have to consciously make the effort to find calm.
Read MoreHealing isn’t tangible and doesn’t stick to arbitrary timelines; it’s beyond our control, and because of this, it can feel so elusive, so impossible. As a generation that’s been raised on instant gratification, we can’t microwave healing into existence, and as someone who is decidedly not good at waiting, this truth is exceedingly difficult to accept.
Read MoreThere is an argument to be made about needing a rock in a new world. This isn't always found in a significant other. I think we should all consider ourselves the lucky ones if we are able to identify at least one individual that helps us balance our world. A friend, a mom, a dad, a mentor, or anyone willing to help bear the burdens of life. We need that person who reminds us of the wonderful moments tied up amidst our tangled lives.
Read MoreIt happens pretty much every time. I freak out, start to doubt what I can do and believe that I don’t deserve any sort of success. I tend to run through these thoughts over and over in my head, and everything speeds up faster and faster, as if my brain is a steam engine nearing the last stop on a railroad track. When someone asks me, “What’s wrong?” or “How can I help you?” I don’t even know what to say. When I try to open my mouth to say what I need, I can’t even get the words right. At times, I feel like an imposter, not ready to face the real world like the cool, confident women I aspire to be like.
Read MoreIt’s the beginning of a new season in your life. You’re committed to getting more clients, making more money, having more of an impact in your community. You’re setting your goals, your intentions, making your “must accomplish” list.
Flash-forward: It’s the end of the month. It’s halfway through the year. It’s December 31. Those goals you set? Halfway done or never touched. No progress. What gives?
Read MoreBut after a while, and in my classic twenty-something fashion, I began to feel restless. I wasn't sure exactly what it was I wanted anymore. Because my heart is similar to Augustus Gloop in that it's greedy. It wants to know all of the outcomes. It wants to know which path to take before I have to take a single step. It wants freedom. It wants travel. It wants stability. And more often than not, it wants chocolate.
Read MoreI have social anxiety. It creates a fear in me that is paralyzing, and I let it control me. My whole life is littered with instances where I clammed up, didn’t speak up, didn’t show up, and didn’t step up. There is a constant war in my brain, of what I want to do versus what I will let myself do.
Read MoreWhole seasons of my life, important lessons I’ve learned, have taken years to sink in because I was so busy tidying them up. I had no respect for my own process, no acknowledgement of the journey I was on. This denial wasn’t intentional, but it became instinctual. I’m still learning how to sit in the unrest that life often brings. If you, too, have a hard time settling into the trenches and naming the shifty, uncertain feelings you’re experiencing, some of these thoughts might help.
Read MoreFall is a hopeful season, but in a somber sort of way, because there is a letting go involved—the leaves falling, the light fading, the chill in the air increasingly more unwelcoming. And when I think about hope, I realize that it too is beautiful, but in a somber sort of way, because it too requires letting go.
Read MoreEntering into adulthood, we face another shift. We begin again to crave their attention and their approval. As we begin our own lives, careers and marriages we seek recognition, admiration and ultimately to make them proud. Or depending on your relationship with your parents, this is your chance to prove them wrong. You either realize how grateful you are for the life they gave you or you realize the ways in which they failed you or even a combination of the two. During this phase also occurs much self-actualization often leading us to noticing aspects of our parents present within us.
Read MoreBut what happens when you take that leap with your person, your partner, your boo thang. Yes, you two have made THE big decision: to go from having a regular roommate to having a capital-R Roommate. This is a huge step for you and your SO. Living together is basically a precursor to marriage (or so I’ve been told). This is the time when you really find out if you’re capable of living with this person for a long, long time and lots of subtle difference can come out of the woodwork.
Read MoreI had never really made a “Plan B” for my athletic life and activities. I didn’t look for places to live because of the nearby sports clubs or the number of parks within walking distance, nor was that the consideration I had in mind now. While recreational sports are fun, I myself wasn’t ready to make a real commitment like that, even on an infrequent basis. Not only did I have to consider the time I would need to devote to the workouts, practices, and team-building activities, there was also my own physical health to consider. After years of traveling in cramped seats, repeated tackles, injuries, and strains, my body just wasn’t up to the demands I know I would want to impose, not to mention the fact that my getting injured and possibly needing time away from work to recover would be a real work obstacle for myself and my team, posing a real threat to my career success.
Read MoreI believe that our actions, our thoughts, our successes and failures are byproducts of the choices we make. I read books about psychology and the mind meant to inspire positive action, watch TED talks on productivity and healing destructive thought patterns. I believe in taking responsibility for mistakes I’ve made and pain I’ve caused. I’ve seen that choosing my daily rituals and taking action toward my dreams is the only way to bring myself closer to the person I want to become.
Read MoreWhen I was younger, I used to think that life would get better after college. Or once I was married. Or once I had a big girl job. If only I could skip to this weekend, or next month or a couple years from now, things would be better.
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